bi polar

I feel like I am bipolar right now. I can be instantly furious...and I mean instantly! Poor Neil...Poor the people I work with. I try to control it but afternoons are not good.

I am still going strong. Getting so close.

In the mornings - I feel like I need more time to get ready for competition
Around noon- I'm excited and can't wait for it to come
Night- I just want it to be over with!

Lots of emotions and trying to understand myself and how I feel about all of this.

I got home this afternoon and my hubby has tidied up the house. This is awesome because I didn't tell him to do it and he knows how much of a difference it makes to me when the house isn't messy. thank you to the hubby!

I got my suits on Friday! Thank goodness. Man - they are tiny!

Health

Your health impacts you emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. You can escape from a lot of things that might hurt you. You can quit a hazardous job. You can move from one climate to another. You can stay away from someone who wants to harm you.

But you can’t get away from your body. For as long as you live, you’re stuck with it. If you make choices that cause you to be continually hurting or unhealthy, it will affect every aspect of your life – your heart, mind, and spirit. Source: “Today Matters” by John C. Maxwell.

Comps and Birthdays

The weekend was VERY busy!

I had training on Saturday. More posing and got my bodyfat tested. Bad news/Good news there. Bad news - I lost muscle so my BF% went up. Good news- I get more carbs!

WEnt to the DaVinci Code with my sis and hubby on Friday. That was fun - great movie.

Saturday, Tosh and I left for Des Moines at 4:15am. It was a great show! about 100 competitors. I came to the realization that my thighs and butt may really not be ready for this show. I am not down and depressed, just realistic. I am doing all I can to get them ready but that stage is not forgiving. Stepmill has been my friend - over 6 miles and 300 floors of stairs in the last two days...
I talked to Tosh and Neil, questioning whether or not I want to do this show or give myself more time to prep. I really don't want to be up there and know that I just wasn't ready. I decided that I'm an outgoing, confident woman and I will go up there, do my best and get the experience. You never know how you will look and how much of this is 'water weight' until that day.

Got to meet online friends Tonia and Jen at the show. That was great. They are both wonderful people and it felt so good to meet them and be around people that have the same passions. We had a fun time. Tonia competed and did wonderfully. The judging is subjective and she didn't place but she brought in one of her best physiques so I am proud and happy for her. Jen is competing for the first time this fall so it was really fun watching the show with her.

Got to see my friend Babette from PHat Camp. We also had a lot of fun. Wish we could hang out more!

We got home from the show at 2am on Sunday morning - TIRED.

I woke up at 8am, at breakfast, went back to bed until 12:30, went to the gym for stepmill and weights workout, got home for the birthday party for me, Lee, and Amy and mother's day celebration. This is Neil's side of the fam. Everyone at our house which hasn't happened for a long time. Fun! Everyone left by 7pm and I went downstairs to do 20 min of moderate cardio on the elliptical - backwards for the butt of course!

Leg weights with sis and more stepmill this morning. SOOOO much fun going to the gym with sister! We are just going to transform ourselves and our workouts. It is so fun to laugh with someone during a workout.

I get tomorrow OFF!!!!!

Only about 2.5 weeks left...WOW!

show

My sister and I are planning on going to both prejudging and the night show on Sat. We're going to leave asap on Sat night after the Figure and Fitness. We have to drive the 3.5 hours back home and I my friend lanae is running a 5K on Sunday morning that is an hour away. I really want to be there to cheer her on.

Then, we are having all of neils family over for a birthday/mother's day thing on Sunday afternoon. BUSY weekend!! I am going to be so beat. I'm tired now just trying to get through normal life!
Tanya

Off to workout!

I am off to meet my sister at the gym for the first time! Yay!

We are going to a show in Iowa this weekend...very excited. some of my online Friends with be there! Can't wait to see you Tonia and Jen??!!!

found out last night that 300 tickets have been sold for my show!!!! HOLY COW!

Welcome TOSHA!!!

We moved Tosha to Minnesota yesterday!!! I am so excited to have my
seeeester near me. We are both excited to have a spotter in the gym.
I think it will really improve our progress and increase our gains
from training. Now we can lift heavy and trust the person helping us to support the weight through that final rep! Watch out - here come a set of buff seeeesters!!!

Baked!

I started tanning in a tanning bed tonight. Ugh. Yes, I gave in. I decided to just stick with what we know works so I make sure not to turn orange for the show. I've worked so hard to get this far. I just want to do the best I can on every detail.

Neil and I were BUSY today. Working, laundry, cooking, mowing the lawn (which had gone to seed...oops!), we ran around alll day.

My sister moves here in 2 days!

Thank you!

Hello everyone!
I woke up still a little bummed. Then it took me over and hour to get to training so I was really late. Then I lost only .3 BF% so I am at 14.1%.

But...Nicole talked me through it, my husband is awesome and supportive, my seeester is awesome and supportive, I got a great workout in this afternoon and now I feel like myself again!!!

I about freaked out when I got home and there was a present (wrapped in Christmas paper) on the table. I opened it and....I got an AWESOME heart rate monitor from my seeester and my hubby! It has changed my life! I can download my workouts into the computer and it tracks them and I was really able to monitor my cardio better. It gives me some control and I think it is just what I needed to bring something new and exciting to my workouts to get me through this last 4 weeks.

Thank you all for your comments and your support. It really made a difference as I was trying to pull myself out of the funk I was in. I am such a lucky woman.

I get a carb up meal tonight!
Meat
veggies (I bought fresh organic brussel sprouts and I've only ever had frozen!)
brown rice (I bought fresh organic cinnamon to put on it!)
sweet potato
banana

You can't beat that!

I have decided I'm officially weird. I seriously was so excited about the heart rate monitor that you'd think I'd won a million dollars. I soooo excited for my evening meal you'd think I was having pizza!!

Happy Birthday to me!

Bumming

I'm just down tonight. It is like my Friday night since I don't work tomorrow. I want to go out to eat with my hubby. I just want the experience of it. I miss going out. I made him potatoes and carrots and chicken tonight. He said it was really good. We are doing a CSA where we get a box of organic produce from a farmer every friday. I wish I could eat everything. It is getting harder with summer her and the fruits and veggies around and people going out and...I'm babbling and feeling sorry for myself tonight.

It is my Birthday tomorrow and I usually make the biggest deal about Birthdays but that is just kind of seeming anticlimatic for me this time around as well. I'm kind of frustrated that soooo much of celebrations and social occasions all revolve around food.

The woman called that is making my suits today. She hasn't started. I was supposed to get them on April 15th. I'm going to take new measurements tomorrow at training since the last ones were done at 16 weeks. I look completely different now at 4 weeks. She said she would get it to me next week. i hope it doesn't need alterations. She sounded stressed and tense on the phone today which made me a bit nervous. I'm going to call her tomorrow and see if i can't get her feeling more excited and happy at least about making my suit! I want it to be made with positive energy behind it!

I felt again like my legs were leaning out this morning...we'll see how the numbers come in in the morning...

Just chillin'

I DVR'd the MS Fitness World today and watched that tonight. fun!

I had a fabulous time at Tosh's graduation. She looked stunning and it was a lot of fun. A little hard now that her diet isn't quite so strict. She just finished up classes today and I've tried to convince her to just enjoy and live up her last week of college life - sounds like she's going to! Good deal.

Had checkup at the chiro today. Held my adjustment now for 2 months. Life is good. He said I was on my way to exceptional health and I feel like it.

I think that I am leaning out more. Hard to tell though. We'll see on Friday when I get my bodyfat tested again.

My friend lanae finished her first BFL challenge yesterday. she has done an awesome job and I'm so proud of her! She came to the gym yesterday and spotted me on some of my shoulder workout. Hubby was awesome enough to come and spot me on Sunday for some of my chest/back workout. I can't wait till tosh is here next week and I'll have a spotter and a gym partner always. It is SOOOOO much better!

sorry I'm such a lame blogger...I just get on and read about everyone else's life...I'll try to be better!

Better

I am better today. Thank goodness.

I got a haircut yesterday. It looks a little bit better now.

Add and take away

I decided to delete all condiments from my life for a few days. I feel bloated and gross and I have convinced myself it is because of the 'I can't believe it's not butter spray', cheese sprinkles, and gum. Is it really from that? Small chance - too much aspartame in the gum...salt in the sprinkles...but probably not. but I can control this and make myself think it will do some good so that is all that matters. I'm not giving up my two packets of splenda and cinnamon on my oatmeal in the morning. Honestly, that is like a TREAT to me - I get almost as excited about it as I used to get about ice cream! :-)

I added green tea to my day - I don't really like tea - It tastes like grass. But it wasn't too bad and it isn't meat or green vegetables so right now that makes it exciting.

It is my sister's graduation this weekend so we will be off to South Dakota again. Busy , busy. I have been neglecting posing practice...pretty much altogether. That has got to stop. I have 5.5 weeks left so I can make up for the last couple weeks. no excuses now!!!