bi polar

I feel like I am bipolar right now. I can be instantly furious...and I mean instantly! Poor Neil...Poor the people I work with. I try to control it but afternoons are not good.

I am still going strong. Getting so close.

In the mornings - I feel like I need more time to get ready for competition
Around noon- I'm excited and can't wait for it to come
Night- I just want it to be over with!

Lots of emotions and trying to understand myself and how I feel about all of this.

I got home this afternoon and my hubby has tidied up the house. This is awesome because I didn't tell him to do it and he knows how much of a difference it makes to me when the house isn't messy. thank you to the hubby!

I got my suits on Friday! Thank goodness. Man - they are tiny!

Health

Your health impacts you emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. You can escape from a lot of things that might hurt you. You can quit a hazardous job. You can move from one climate to another. You can stay away from someone who wants to harm you.

But you can’t get away from your body. For as long as you live, you’re stuck with it. If you make choices that cause you to be continually hurting or unhealthy, it will affect every aspect of your life – your heart, mind, and spirit. Source: “Today Matters” by John C. Maxwell.

Comps and Birthdays

The weekend was VERY busy!

I had training on Saturday. More posing and got my bodyfat tested. Bad news/Good news there. Bad news - I lost muscle so my BF% went up. Good news- I get more carbs!

WEnt to the DaVinci Code with my sis and hubby on Friday. That was fun - great movie.

Saturday, Tosh and I left for Des Moines at 4:15am. It was a great show! about 100 competitors. I came to the realization that my thighs and butt may really not be ready for this show. I am not down and depressed, just realistic. I am doing all I can to get them ready but that stage is not forgiving. Stepmill has been my friend - over 6 miles and 300 floors of stairs in the last two days...
I talked to Tosh and Neil, questioning whether or not I want to do this show or give myself more time to prep. I really don't want to be up there and know that I just wasn't ready. I decided that I'm an outgoing, confident woman and I will go up there, do my best and get the experience. You never know how you will look and how much of this is 'water weight' until that day.

Got to meet online friends Tonia and Jen at the show. That was great. They are both wonderful people and it felt so good to meet them and be around people that have the same passions. We had a fun time. Tonia competed and did wonderfully. The judging is subjective and she didn't place but she brought in one of her best physiques so I am proud and happy for her. Jen is competing for the first time this fall so it was really fun watching the show with her.

Got to see my friend Babette from PHat Camp. We also had a lot of fun. Wish we could hang out more!

We got home from the show at 2am on Sunday morning - TIRED.

I woke up at 8am, at breakfast, went back to bed until 12:30, went to the gym for stepmill and weights workout, got home for the birthday party for me, Lee, and Amy and mother's day celebration. This is Neil's side of the fam. Everyone at our house which hasn't happened for a long time. Fun! Everyone left by 7pm and I went downstairs to do 20 min of moderate cardio on the elliptical - backwards for the butt of course!

Leg weights with sis and more stepmill this morning. SOOOO much fun going to the gym with sister! We are just going to transform ourselves and our workouts. It is so fun to laugh with someone during a workout.

I get tomorrow OFF!!!!!

Only about 2.5 weeks left...WOW!

show

My sister and I are planning on going to both prejudging and the night show on Sat. We're going to leave asap on Sat night after the Figure and Fitness. We have to drive the 3.5 hours back home and I my friend lanae is running a 5K on Sunday morning that is an hour away. I really want to be there to cheer her on.

Then, we are having all of neils family over for a birthday/mother's day thing on Sunday afternoon. BUSY weekend!! I am going to be so beat. I'm tired now just trying to get through normal life!
Tanya

Off to workout!

I am off to meet my sister at the gym for the first time! Yay!

We are going to a show in Iowa this weekend...very excited. some of my online Friends with be there! Can't wait to see you Tonia and Jen??!!!

found out last night that 300 tickets have been sold for my show!!!! HOLY COW!

Welcome TOSHA!!!

We moved Tosha to Minnesota yesterday!!! I am so excited to have my
seeeester near me. We are both excited to have a spotter in the gym.
I think it will really improve our progress and increase our gains
from training. Now we can lift heavy and trust the person helping us to support the weight through that final rep! Watch out - here come a set of buff seeeesters!!!

Baked!

I started tanning in a tanning bed tonight. Ugh. Yes, I gave in. I decided to just stick with what we know works so I make sure not to turn orange for the show. I've worked so hard to get this far. I just want to do the best I can on every detail.

Neil and I were BUSY today. Working, laundry, cooking, mowing the lawn (which had gone to seed...oops!), we ran around alll day.

My sister moves here in 2 days!

Thank you!

Hello everyone!
I woke up still a little bummed. Then it took me over and hour to get to training so I was really late. Then I lost only .3 BF% so I am at 14.1%.

But...Nicole talked me through it, my husband is awesome and supportive, my seeester is awesome and supportive, I got a great workout in this afternoon and now I feel like myself again!!!

I about freaked out when I got home and there was a present (wrapped in Christmas paper) on the table. I opened it and....I got an AWESOME heart rate monitor from my seeester and my hubby! It has changed my life! I can download my workouts into the computer and it tracks them and I was really able to monitor my cardio better. It gives me some control and I think it is just what I needed to bring something new and exciting to my workouts to get me through this last 4 weeks.

Thank you all for your comments and your support. It really made a difference as I was trying to pull myself out of the funk I was in. I am such a lucky woman.

I get a carb up meal tonight!
Meat
veggies (I bought fresh organic brussel sprouts and I've only ever had frozen!)
brown rice (I bought fresh organic cinnamon to put on it!)
sweet potato
banana

You can't beat that!

I have decided I'm officially weird. I seriously was so excited about the heart rate monitor that you'd think I'd won a million dollars. I soooo excited for my evening meal you'd think I was having pizza!!

Happy Birthday to me!

Bumming

I'm just down tonight. It is like my Friday night since I don't work tomorrow. I want to go out to eat with my hubby. I just want the experience of it. I miss going out. I made him potatoes and carrots and chicken tonight. He said it was really good. We are doing a CSA where we get a box of organic produce from a farmer every friday. I wish I could eat everything. It is getting harder with summer her and the fruits and veggies around and people going out and...I'm babbling and feeling sorry for myself tonight.

It is my Birthday tomorrow and I usually make the biggest deal about Birthdays but that is just kind of seeming anticlimatic for me this time around as well. I'm kind of frustrated that soooo much of celebrations and social occasions all revolve around food.

The woman called that is making my suits today. She hasn't started. I was supposed to get them on April 15th. I'm going to take new measurements tomorrow at training since the last ones were done at 16 weeks. I look completely different now at 4 weeks. She said she would get it to me next week. i hope it doesn't need alterations. She sounded stressed and tense on the phone today which made me a bit nervous. I'm going to call her tomorrow and see if i can't get her feeling more excited and happy at least about making my suit! I want it to be made with positive energy behind it!

I felt again like my legs were leaning out this morning...we'll see how the numbers come in in the morning...

Just chillin'

I DVR'd the MS Fitness World today and watched that tonight. fun!

I had a fabulous time at Tosh's graduation. She looked stunning and it was a lot of fun. A little hard now that her diet isn't quite so strict. She just finished up classes today and I've tried to convince her to just enjoy and live up her last week of college life - sounds like she's going to! Good deal.

Had checkup at the chiro today. Held my adjustment now for 2 months. Life is good. He said I was on my way to exceptional health and I feel like it.

I think that I am leaning out more. Hard to tell though. We'll see on Friday when I get my bodyfat tested again.

My friend lanae finished her first BFL challenge yesterday. she has done an awesome job and I'm so proud of her! She came to the gym yesterday and spotted me on some of my shoulder workout. Hubby was awesome enough to come and spot me on Sunday for some of my chest/back workout. I can't wait till tosh is here next week and I'll have a spotter and a gym partner always. It is SOOOOO much better!

sorry I'm such a lame blogger...I just get on and read about everyone else's life...I'll try to be better!

Better

I am better today. Thank goodness.

I got a haircut yesterday. It looks a little bit better now.

Add and take away

I decided to delete all condiments from my life for a few days. I feel bloated and gross and I have convinced myself it is because of the 'I can't believe it's not butter spray', cheese sprinkles, and gum. Is it really from that? Small chance - too much aspartame in the gum...salt in the sprinkles...but probably not. but I can control this and make myself think it will do some good so that is all that matters. I'm not giving up my two packets of splenda and cinnamon on my oatmeal in the morning. Honestly, that is like a TREAT to me - I get almost as excited about it as I used to get about ice cream! :-)

I added green tea to my day - I don't really like tea - It tastes like grass. But it wasn't too bad and it isn't meat or green vegetables so right now that makes it exciting.

It is my sister's graduation this weekend so we will be off to South Dakota again. Busy , busy. I have been neglecting posing practice...pretty much altogether. That has got to stop. I have 5.5 weeks left so I can make up for the last couple weeks. no excuses now!!!

Cool Stuff!

1. I love my husband

2. I hit 14.4% bodyfat

3. I went to the Honda dealership to get the spoiler removed from my trunk and I traded it for an Element instead!

4. The element is a cool orange color and Neil likes Orange.

5. Neil didn't get mad at me for buying a different car!

6. I've been really tired all week so I get the WHOLE weekend off from working out

7. We are heading to SD to see my sister complete her first triathlon

8. I am 6 WEEKS out from competition as of today!

9. My friend, Robin, is here from New York and I haven't seen her in a year. She is watching the puppies this weekend and they are SOOOO excited to see her and her fiance.

10. My husband loves me!!! :-)

Rebound Effect

I wanted to post this here more for me than for anything else. Post competition for me is almost more scary than pre competition. an interesting FYI- Keith Kline - the big wig expert in teh article, is from Houston. That is where my trainer, Nicole, trained originally and she worked with Kieth on all contest dieting, etc. Was neat to run accross his name in an article!

Rebound Effect


You’re a fitness enthusiast about to enter your first competition. You’ve talked to other competitors, read about contest preparation, studied the diets of the champions, and pored over lists of tips and tricks. Music has been chosen and your choreography is in the works. Water intake is up, protein is the staple of your diet and you’ve clocked so many miles at the gym you’re thinking about buying your own treadmill. Hip to the inside scoop on posing, tanning, and walking on stage, your confidence is high. Your mind is firmly focused on taking home the trophy.

But are you prepared for what happens after the contest?

There is a dirty little secret associated with fitness and bodybuilding competition that before now hasn’t been discussed — the virtually universal post-contest rebound effect. Familiar with the term “yo-yo” dieting? It’s not just your mother’s nightmare; even bodybuilding and fitness champions will gain weight after they stop the highly restrictive diets that are required to achieve the extremely low body fat levels they need to be competitive. It is a consequence that is almost never talked about, and therefore, rarely anticipated. Strict competition diets and training programs work, even for non-competitors. But the extreme results can’t — and shouldn’t — last forever. Anyone who is considering entering a competition should be prepared to deal with the physical and, more importantly, the emotional impact of returning to a more normal eating program.

The goal of pre-contest dieting is to lose as much fat as possible, and to achieve this, most competitors undergo a highly restricted eating and exercise plan that starts 12 to 16 weeks before the competition. As the macronutrient balance shifts toward high-protein, moderate carbs and low fat, the competitor’s body begins to shed both fat and water. As the intensity of the pre-contest diet increases, the competitor’s mind compiles a list of foods that she can’t wait to eat when the show is over. Most athletes want to celebrate, or simply reward months of sacrifice with a feast right after the competition. Some will take their indulgence a step further and immediately resume an off-season diet. This type of competitor may also stop taking the fat burners that helped her get through her twice-daily cardio workouts, cut back on the cardio or stop altogether, and decrease the intensity of her weight training sessions. Such an abrupt change in eating patterns and workout schedules will shock the body and cause a rebound effect. While enduring a calorie-restricted diet, a competitor’s body tends to go into a starvation-survival mode, which subsequently causes her metabolism to slow down. When she starts to eat a few more calories, her body will quickly store them as fat, stocking up for the next “famine.” Within a couple of days, her hard, lean appearance will “smooth out” primarily due to water being pulled into the muscles when glycogen (from carbs) floods the body. After even one week of less controlled eating and drastic reductions in her training intensity, she will regain body fat. This is the very same “yo-yo” effect that plagues many conventional dieters.

Although the physical effects of diet rebounding could be harmful if taken to the extreme, perhaps the more significant impact is the psychological one. To a fitness or bodybuilding competitor, this kind of rebound can be emotionally devastating. She may only rebound to half as much body fat as she started with, but to someone who has been in the single digits, that small increase may feel like an enormous failure. One day, the competitor is onstage presenting her perfectly sculpted and lean physique, subjecting herself to the judgment of a panel of strangers, and within a couple of weeks, she feels fat, bloated, and self-conscious. The form-fitting clothing that she bought to show off her hard work is snug, her six-pack is gone and she feels embarrassed by her sudden weight gain. The judges at her competition weren’t nearly as critical of her as she is of herself at this point. “It’s amazing the kind of pressure we put on ourselves,” says personal nutritionist Keith Klein, CN, former champion bodybuilder, and founder of the Institute of Eating Management of Houston, Texas. “When you start your diet at 20% body fat and get to 15%, you’re on top of the world; from 15% to 12%, you feel like wearing only your underwear all day; then when you get to 6%, you can’t believe that you’ve reached the best condition of your life. But once you begin to rebound, you feel as fat at 10% as you did at 20%.

The problem isn’t that she’s lost her willpower or control over her body; it’s that the competitor’s standards for herself are unrealistic. Rebounding is the reality. It is normal. In fact, it is a mistake to believe that one can achieve and sustain a sharp, competition look year-round. It may help to know that most of photos that fill the pages of health and fitness magazines are taken at competition time, and are not indicative of how even champion competitors look in the off-season. “Competition shape is unnatural,” says Lee Labrada, former world champion professional bodybuilder and a past winner of the IFBB Mr. Universe, and founder and President of Labrada Bodybuilding Nutrition. “Your body has a thermostat — and it seeks to maintain its body fat level around a constant amount.”

Patty Urrutia, age 30, didn’t know how to transition from pre-competition to post-competition eating after her first Miss Fitness contest in 1994. “I had worked so hard to achieve my physique, and I didn’t want to lose it,” she said. “I wanted to continue with the high-protein diet, but I also wanted to eat some of the foods that I missed. I ended up doubling the amount of calories that I needed and gained a lot of weight.” Patty competed in another Miss Fitness and two Galaxy contests after that, going through the rebound cycle each time. After her last contest in 1998, she realized that she would rather return to a more normal eating routine than to make the sacrifices necessary to keep her body fat at 7%. She now maintains a healthy, feminine physique at around 16% body fat, and allows herself to indulge in what she calls “fun foods” in moderation. “I don’t want food to be a focal point, just a part of my healthy lifestyle.”

For some, the only way to reverse a rebound and a corresponding sense of failure is to begin another competition diet. Whereas winning, placing or simply entering a contest used to be the goal, now they become the means to an unattainable goal — physical perfection.

Laryn McCandless, age 22, will have competed nine times in three years by the end of 2001— including a bodybuilding competition, four Galaxy competitions, two NPC fitness contests and an upcoming NPC Figure competition, a Women’s Tri-Fitness and the Fitness America pageant. Although she’s experienced the rebound each time, the emotional impact is still significant. “It’s hard to watch yourself gain weight, and then look at your competition pictures,” she says. “I feel guilty and unhappy.” Laryn has decided to win the rebound battle by avoiding it completely. In effect, she plans to convert her pre-contest diet into a strict lifestyle that allows for few days off.

Unfortunately, for women, there are health risks associated with having too little body fat. Some of these risks include hypothermia, vitamin toxicity, cessation of the menstrual cycle, and osteoporosis. Hal Louis, founder of Better Reflections: Fitness through Strategic Training, Inc., believes that a female athlete should carry enough body fat to maintain her menstrual cycle. “You must take your health into consideration,” he says. “You can still look great at 14-16% body fat.”
So how can a competitor avoid this emotional rollercoaster? “The solution lies mainly in adopting a more realistic, accepting view of your body,” says Klein. “You need to realize that 10% or 12% or 15% body fat is totally acceptable — especially since you felt good about yourself when you first got there on the way down to your competition shape.”

An athlete must go into a competition knowing that she is trying to achieve a temporary condition of leanness, and accept that her body fat will return to a more natural level. With this in mind, she can prepare for a smooth transition, extending the discipline she’s gained from dieting and training for competition into a healthy program that she can maintain for life.

Sidebar:
Advice from Experts: How to Control a Rebound
Lee Labrada, President of Labrada Bodybuilding Nutrition:

When done correctly, a methodical reduction in the amount of carbohydrates can help you achieve your ideal shape. To maintain your physique after a competition, you have to follow the natural laws of metabolism: base your diet on small, frequent feedings, consume adequate protein to maintain muscle mass (the foundation of metabolism) and manipulate carbohydrate and fat calories to meet your energy needs.

Keith Klein, founder of the Institute of Eating Management:

Even if your intentions are to stay lean after a contest, when you start eating more normally, your brain is going to turn up your appetite. The body doesn’t know the difference between true starvation and the purposeful withholding of food. Have an exit strategy with a formula that will work for you. For example, when the competition is over, celebrate and eat whatever you want that night and for brunch the next day. But on Monday, resume your clean eating, except for a “cheat day” once per week.

Hal Louis, founder of Better Reflections:

If it took you 12 weeks to get into contest shape, allow at least 8 weeks to return to an eating program that you can maintain for life, slowly adding back small portions of “normal” food. Continue with your cardio and weight training, and strive to stay within 10-15 lbs. of your competition weight. Remember that you have achieved what millions fail to do every day!

Pics!!

I Need a TAN!!!!! time to call Golden Girls!


This is Nicole trying to show me how to 'flare' my lats...we decided I really don't have much lat to flare...working on it! It is soooo hard to build muscle. Just look at her shoulders!!!

Crazy Weekend!

It all started on Friday morning. I'm heading to the gym to do my cardio and there is a garage sale...I almost drove by but thought it wouldn't hurt to stop real quick.

I left 2.5 hours later with 3 garbage bags and one huge box full! I'm not kidding!! I bough 22 pairs of shoes, 7 pairs of jeans, about 15 skirts, uncountable shirts, numerous pairs of work pants, a few cute summer dresses, 3 purses, 4 cake pans/cookie sheets, a muffin tin, a bowl set, 3 necklaces, a pair of hat and mittens, a set of curtains for the kitchen...$100 later I barely fit in the car!

I came home and took all of the clothes out of my drawers and replaced them with all of my new clothes. I literally have a whole new wardrobe. Everything always works out for the best - I truly believe this. I had NO clothes to wear...NONE. I had one pair of jeans and 2 pair of work pants. I had no money to buy new clothes and I was starting to worry. The clothes in my closet were between size 10 and size 15. I now wear between a 2 and a 6 depending on the brand. You can only pin so much!! So, I'm a feeling very lucky and thankful. I will post pics of all my new clothes below!

Yesterday, I had a posing practice session with my trainer and my friend, Cindy. I will post pics from that below as well. We had a good time, laughed at how crooked my structure is . Left shoulder is higher than right and my head is crooked...hopefully now that my neck is aligned that will get better over time. i have now held my adjustment for about six weeks by the way!!

it was really fun to see Nicole's (trainer) example poses. She is 8 weeks out from NPC Jr Nationals and she is sooooo beautiful. It is fun to see what I will look like a few years down the road! :-)

Today, I got up and ran the stairs by the lake 5 times, did backwards lunges, ran up and down a hill. I did this 'circuit' three times in 25min. Better than running on the treadmill. Then I came home and ate breakfast. Then I went to the gym for my leg weights workout. Then I went grocery shopping. Then, our friends Lyndsey, her mom, and Matt brought their dogs up and we all went for a walk around the lake - 3.2 miles, Then I went out to the farm and rode horse, and I got home at 7pm...WHAT A DAY!

Schnookie, the horse I ride, did so great! I haven't been out to the farm since January. She acted like I had been riding every day for months. What a sweetheart of a horse.

So, that was my weekend! Hope you all had as great of one as I did!

clothes

Things are firming up! Why...I think it is because I am taking naps on Friday, Sat, and Sunday. I asked my trainer if this could really be the case and she said sleep is one of the most important aspects of losing bodyfat! Really finally losing the big layers of giggle on my butt and thighs though.

Finally got to 15% bodyfat. A month late but better late than never! :-)

Did 40min of light cardio yesterday. 25 min of HIIT today, chest/tri weights tonight at home because my gym is closed. grrr.

Went shopping Friday night with one of my friends and she said I looked like a super model! All of the dresses I tried on were between 0 and 4P....how fun is that!? STill have just as hard of a time finding clothes though because I have NO chest. oh well....

Got a dress to wear to the two weddings I'm going to and possibly to my sisters graduation. ALso got really cute shoes. Don't know if I'll keep the dress because I found some on ebay that may work. If I win those auctions and the dresses look good - may take the one I bought back...but it is so cute.

Check in!

15.2% body fat. so I lost about 1% over the last two weeks. Can really tell in my thighs and my calves are coming along.

Maybe I'll post more later. I'm off to take a nap!

Gym Family???

Maybe splitting my workout schedule was a blessing in disguise. first of all, my workouts are much better. I lift heavier at night and my cardio is more intense in the mornings. Secondly, I'm meeting people!! I met a woman named Lisa on Monday and I complimented her on her muscle tone. She's been lifting for 10 years and she used to do bodybuilding. Her last show was 4 years ago. I talked with her last night too. Was soooo fun to chat with her.

I also met vince last night. Nice guy. It is a pain to work out in the evening because there are soo many people at the gym. But it is the same people in the free weights section every night. A lot of people online talk about their 'gym family'...maybe I will get one now!!

My body changed drastically the last two days. My thighs look different and so do my upper abs...I'm getting excited!!

I filled out my entry form for the June 10th comp and it is going in the mail tomorrow. It is official!

Week 9!

I am 9 weeks out now. I think...maybe changes are happening around my rear...we'll see. If it looks worse before it gets better, then that is what is happening! :-)

The show on Saturday was fun. There were only 2 short figure girls and 5 in the tall class. i learned that your smile and confidence are the most important thing!

There was a girl from my hometown in SD there...I about fell over. Her sister-in-law was competing.

I made neil banana protein muffins again tonight. they look and smell soooo good. I'm glad that he eats something healthy! He's been doing pretty good during the week and he still really enjoys his free day!

We lost sadie last night (one of my mini long haired wiener dogs). I let duffy in and sadie was no where to be found. I obviously flipped out. some woman walking her dog started helping neil and I run around looking and then the neighbor started helping. Then, I heard her. She was crying but I couldn't figure out where she was. She had somehow locked herself in the garage! So glad that was it - I don't know what I would do if I lost one of the pups! Here is a picture of them napping and an old pic of me with them last fall.